Who are you?
Well, I am still a little confused about that; but let me try to give you an idea. I am 48 years old and have been married almost 30 years. I have a wonderful wife and marriage. I have two grown children, and 2 grandchildren, with a new grandchild due in 2008.
I was born and raised in Oklahoma. I am a trained, professional engineer by trade. I worked in the automotive industry for nearly 27 years before receiving “the calling” to serve as a minister.
I moved to Michigan 18 years ago, and have loved every minute of it. It has been a very positive experience. I enjoy everything this state has to offer….even the weather!
I have been speaking before large audiences since I was 13. I participated in 4-H and did many demonstrations before large groups. As and engineer at a large automaker, I had occasion to speak in front of large groups on a regular basis. I am very comfortable speaking to both strangers and friends. And performing a wedding ceremony in front of a large audience is the most rewarding experience I have ever had! I also have a few references that say I do a decent job, too.
I am a full-time wedding minister. I am here to serve your needs! I hope you read through this website and get a full understanding that I take my calling very serious – but I also have fun with my couples doing it. Everything done with a smile adds sunshine to every day!
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What do you sound and look like?
Well, if you made it to the home page of my website, you already know about what I look like. And voice – everyone used to say that I missed my calling by not being a radio announcer (does that mean I have a face for radio too?). My voice carries very well – some weddings are done without audio or microphone assistance. As to tone – I get many compliments after a ceremony is completed that they loved the ceremony, my voice – and the presentation of both.
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Do we meet you before the wedding?
I would love to! I offer face-to-face meetings for my standard wedding package. If you are planning a vow renewal or civil ceremony and want a personal consultation, I am available for a small fee. But this is your call. Some couples would rather handle everything by phone or e-mail, while others would rather meet in person. If you live out of town, I generally do make all arrangements via the internet and telephone. As to the meetings, I generally pick one of ‘2’ coffee shops that are close by. We can grab a table and I can show you ceremonies, pictures, and answer all your questions. It will also give you the chance to meet me – see if I have the right look, voice, and personality for your very special day.
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What kind of ceremonies do you perform?
I am both a minister and an officiant. I was raised within the Lutheran Church, and carry these and many Catholic faith-based beliefs. However, I practice as a non-denominational Christian, and Spiritual Humanism minister. I will work either as a minister or officiant for your wedding. No couple is required or expected to have a religious ceremony. Many of my ceremonies are either Catholic – or non-denominational, faith-based religious or spiritual based ceremonies, with traditional vows. I custom write 90% of those ceremonies – and most couples want to write their own, personal vows. I am happy to write or perform any kind of ceremony you prefer!
I want to provide whatever type ceremony you have always dreamed of. I also offer civil ceremonies and vow renewals that are more traditional and less custom. This is your wedding day – I want the ceremony I perform to be about you and your wants and feelings.
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I want to write my own vows – can I?
Most couples do. I generally write the ‘ring ceremony’ or ‘ring vows’, but to speak from your heart, you likely will want to write your own very personal wedding vows. Some couples write them from their hearts. Others need help and will want to research published vows. I will assist you if you need ideas, suggestions, or reference material to get started with your vows.
Some ministers will encourage you not to depart from ‘traditional vows’. They state that the emotional turmoil, ease of repeating, length, and “flow’ of the ceremony are interrupted by custom vows. Hogwash!
You love each other – this is your day. If nothing else in your ceremony is custom – then your vows should be. I encourage you to do this, if nothing else in your ceremony is custom. And it’s fine if you don’t want to write your vows – it’s your choice.
Also, if you are shy about saying them or become emotional during the ceremony – I will gladly step in and finish the reading. It happens at times and is never a problem.
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Can I customize my ceremony or provide you with the ceremony we want to use?
Of course! This is your day, and I want to perform your ceremony your way! You can most certainly do this. You may already have a ceremony you like and want to use. It can be updated to personalize for your own use. We can also add and/or delete anything from a ceremony you provide - or I provide for you. If you have a ceremony or reading you would like for me to review, please contact me with any questions.
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How long will the ceremony last?
The average ceremony is about 15-20 minutes in length. Ceremony length is dependant on ceremony choices, special services and readings, and size and structure of the wedding party. A large number of bridesmaids and groomsmen can take 5-10 minutes to enter and exit the service.
Ultimately, the decision is yours to make. But a couple things to consider are:
Outside ceremonies – temperature can be a factor – comfort of your guests, who generally are seated outside well before the ceremony starts. Also, time of day, placement of the sun in the sky, and location specific items can be factors.
Bride and Groom, Bridal party – something about the excitement and adrenalin that surge during a wedding can make 5 minutes seem like 15. Knee lock, nervous tummy’s, dehydration – all can take a toll during a really long ceremony. Most couples find that they can have everything they want in a ceremony that lasts 30 minutes or less.
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Are you flexible about the order or flow of our ceremony?
My belief is that the ceremony belongs to you, and should reflect what you want as a couple.
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We are divorced. Will you still marry us?
I am asked this question quite frequently. My beliefs are to help any couple seeking solice. You love each other, and the past is the past. I have no religious beliefs that allow me to discriminate against anyone who wants to get married – divorced or not. I welcome you at this new juncture of your life!
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Do you require counseling before marriage?
No, I do not require counseling. If you are seeking counseling prior to marriage, I would be happy to help. If you have a situation that requires a specialty in this field, I will assist you in finding the proper professional.
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Will you marry people of different religions, faiths, or beliefs?
I marry people of all beliefs, faiths, or religions.
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What will you wear? What kind of clothing/attire or Robe will you use?
It’s 50/50 – religious weddings generally want my long, black pulpit robe. I also use a blue, pin-stripe double-breasted suit (which I look really great in!)
I also do many theme weddings – Hawaiian and beach attire are my favorite. Just a shirt and tie – sure! Renaissance time period – you bet. Costume (within reason), western wear (country), or any type of theme wear – no problem!
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Shy? Nervous? Stage Fright? We cater to you!
If you are terrified of having to read or memorize part of the service, speak your vows; anything – please relax! I am happy to read any part of the service. If it requires your input, all you have to say is “I do”. Rehearsals will also relieve most of the anxiety of having to stand in front of friends and family. Please discuss with me if there is anything I can do to make the ceremony work better for you.
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What are the responsibilities of the Best Man at the ceremony?
The Best Man usually helps the minister in getting the marriage certificate signed (he is usually one of the witnesses for the marriage certificate), holds the rings until they are needed during the ceremony, and any last minute issues that pop up prior to the ceremony. He should be responsible for helping in any guest or dinner/reception issues prior to the ceremony.
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What are the responsibilities of the Maid/Matron of Honor at the ceremony?
The Maid/Matron of Honor has a huge job helping the bride and other bridesmaids prior to the ceremony. I will rely on her to assist me with any last minute details. Also, she may also help in getting the marriage certificate signed, and is also generally the other witness for the certificate. She is also responsible to hold the bridal bouquet during the ring ceremony. She helps with all dress issues for the bride and other bridesmaids, and is the glue that holds everyone together on that special day.
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When is your fee paid?
You will make a deposit to reserve my services for your wedding date. The remainder of my fee is paid prior to the wedding ceremony being performed. We will also take care of the marriage certificate and witnesses sign prior to the ceremony. Why? Things are so hectic after the ceremony that it is hard to get one person – let alone both witnesses pulled aside for details. You will be taking pictures and visiting with family and friends after the ceremony. It just works better to finalize all the details before the ceremony.
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Do you attend the rehearsal?
Of course! Rehearsals are important for anything but intimate size or civil ceremony weddings. You want your wedding to go as smooth as possible. I know – some folks say that it’s “not important” or “way overblown”. My experience has been that the only ceremonies that had problems didn’t have a rehearsal. The rehearsal can be days before – or hours before the ceremony. Out-of-town wedding rehearsals require special logistics. We will discuss your particular requirements when planning your ceremony.
If for some reason I am booked for a wedding on the date/time of your rehearsal, I can walk you though what you need to discuss and practice. Also, if you have a wedding coordinator – they will assist with the rehearsal. I will gladly participate and work with your wedding coordinator, as this should be a joint effort.
And if you don’t want or need a rehearsal, that is ok too!
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Do you attend rehearsal dinners?
If you invite me, I like to. It also depends if my schedule allows. Please ask in advance.
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When will you arrive at my wedding? What will you do when you arrive?
I generally arrive 1 hour prior to your ceremony. This allows proper time to check with the bride and groom, best man and maid/matron of honor. I will get any last minute questions or instructions.
I will also check with the wedding coordinator and facility planner (if applicable), the DJ, and anyone else that will be part of the ceremony.
At this time, I will also gather the proper witnesses, review and prepare all copies of the license, and properly complete the certificate and have witnesses sign.
I will retain the proper copy(s) for the state and mail those documents to the proper authorities. I will return your copy(s) to you or whoever you choose to hold the documents that day.
This is also a great time to collect final payment. Cash is preferred – checks are fine too. I also accept credit cards through Pay Pal – but when using this method of payment, the service has to be paid in full at time of reservation.
I also need time to dress and prepare to give the greatest ceremony ever written …Yours!
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Do you stay for pictures?
That is your choice. Most couples or the photographer ask that I stay for a picture with the bride and groom. I am happy to do so. Sometimes I may have time constraints if there is another ceremony booked after yours – I will let you know in advance. If you would like a picture(s) with me, just let me know and I will be glad to accommodate.
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Do you stay for the reception?
If you genuinely want me there, I will do my best to stay. My schedule can change without notice. I also hate to have a couple on a budget pay for a catered dinner for me. But if it is important to you, I would love to share in your celebration. Also, some couples ask that I stay and give the dinner blessing. If this is something you would like to assure happens, please ask when we plan the details of your ceremony.
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Do you also coordinate weddings?
I coordinate weddings only for my church. I have a wonderful wedding planner/coordinator for larger, more elaborate events. I can also make suggestions for wedding facilities. If you would like more assistance, please let me know.
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What about locations for ceremonies?
This list is never complete because as soon as I think I have been everywhere, someone asks me to officiate in a place I never thought of.
I also have a small church available to couples who want a simple wedding. It is a historical sight. Please see my ‘Services’ tab for a web link to that location.
Just contact me with your ideas – I haven’t had to say no yet…….
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